"Eclipse" Review

The third film in the immensely popular Twilight franchise has a suspiciously familiar premise: 18-year-old Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) is being hunted by a vengeful vampire named Victoria (Bryce Dallas Howard), and she must be protected by her vampire love, Edward (Robert Pattinson), and his family, all while being forced to choose between Edward and childhood friend Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner). If you've heard that one before, that's because the plot is nearly identical to last November's New Moon, but with a different ending where [spoiler, highlight to read: Victoria breaks her neck and burns up]. Little has changed from the previous installment (aside from a new director and a new composer), and nothing changes by the end of this one; writer Stephanie Meyer seems to be suffering from Status Quo Is God. That, sadly, is the least of Eclipse's problems.

For one thing, I will never understand the appeal of these vampires. They have ice-cold skin; they live forever, and therefore one can never see their friends or family again; they have an insatiable thirst for blood, which they suck from their victim's veins (and it is established to be very hard to drink anything other than human blood); It is explicitly stated, by several different vampires, that it is a terrible life; and for all of the books' talk about how "Beautiful" and "Perfect" they are, the creatures are visually repulsive, with their pasty white skin (which sparkles, for some reason, in the sun) and unnatural red eyes. Edward himself has some other faults as well, namely his lack of genuine emotion (though it's hard to tell whether that's the fault of Meyer, or actor Robert Pattinson) and his creepy, near-obsessive attachment to Bella.

And yet, even though she's continuously bombarded with hints that it's a bad idea, Bella wants nothing more than to be turned into a vampire. Why? It's made clear that terrible for leaving her family behind, she is shown to have second thoughts, and nearly all of Edward's family members (not to mention EDWARD HIMSELF) do all they can to try to get her to change her mind. It's a clear case of Love Makes You Stupid.

It may help that Pattinson and Stewart have absolutely no chemistry together. Sure, they stare at each other dreamily quite often and throw contrived "romantic" phrases at each other, but the actors' delivery is dull and unconvincing. Never do we see any genuine love; all we see is two teenagers who are vaguely attracted to each other. It's a real shame, because outside of the intimate scenes, Pattinson and Stewart are much better, and their performances are some of the films highlights.

As Jacob, Taylor Lautner does a fine job, and manages to do something that his costars cannot: he is believable. Jacob tells Bella, "I am in love with you", and we believe it. He kisses her and we believe it. He tells Edward, "I'm a better choice for her", and yes, we believe that too. Sadly, Meyer apparently does not.

The issues, unfortunately, don't end with the writing. The cinematography is a mess as well, with nearly every shot being a close-up of whoever is speaking at the time. This is especially a problem in [the scene where Edward proposes to Bella], because the focus on Edward's face makes the [ring] invisible. Even worse, the camera only backs up slightly in action scenes, to the point where they're barely comprehensible.

Before I conclude this review, I ought to take the time to list the things I like about Eclipse. The acting, as previously stated, is very good outside of the contrived love scenes. The special effects, one of the few problems in 2008's otherwise solid Twilight, have been significantly improved; the werewolves look phenomenal (almost indistinguishable from real wolves), and the vampires' skin looks much better when it sparkles (it's still a stupid idea, though). The musical score, by legendary composer Howard Shore, is superb as well, though it's a shame that the first film's beautiful "Bella's Lullaby" is absent.

Well, Eclipse is not a horrible movie, but it's still bad enough to get an

Awful!